Random Thoughts
1. I think part of a best friend’s job should be to immediately clear
your computer history if you die.
2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you
realize you’re wrong.
3. I totally take back all those times I didn’t want to nap when I was
younger.
4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.
5. How are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
6. Was learning cursive really necessary?
7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on #5. I’m pretty
sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the
person died.
9. I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t at least kind of tired.
10. Bad decisions make good stories.
11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at
work when you know that you just aren’t going to do anything productive
for the rest of the day.
12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I
don’t want to have to restart my collection… again.
13. I’m always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks
me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page research paper that I
swear I did not make any changes to.
14. “Do not machine wash or tumble dry” means I will never wash this –
ever.
15. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Damn
it!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to
voicemail. What’d you do after I didn’t answer? Drop the phone and run
away?
16. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not
seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.
17. I keep some people’s phone numbers in my phone just so I know not
to answer when they call.
18. My 4-year old son asked me in the car the other day “Dad what would
happen if you ran over a ninja?” How do I respond to that?
19. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
20. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or
Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.